HAPPINESS COMES FROM GIVING

A rich lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness. The counselor instead of counseling her directly, called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors. The counselor then said to the rich lady "I'm going to ask Mary here  to tell you how she found happiness. All I want you to do is listen to her."

 

So the old cleaning woman put down her broom and sat on a chair and told her story:

"Well, my husband died of malaria and three months later my only son was killed by a car. I had nobody... I had nothing left. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I never smiled at anyone, I even thought of taking my own life.

 

Then one evening a little kitten followed me home from work. Somehow I felt sorry for that kitten. It was cold outside, so I decided to let the kitten in. I got it some milk and the kitten licked the plate clean. Then it purred and rubbed against my leg and for the first time in months, I smiled. Then I stopped to think, if helping a little kitten could make me smile, maybe doing something for people could make me happy. So the next day I baked some biscuits and took them to a neighbor who was sick in bed.

 

Every day I tried to do something nice for someone. It made me so happy to see them happy. Today, I don't know of anybody who sleeps and eats better than I do. I've found happiness, by giving it to others."

 

When she heard that, the rich lady cried...! She had everything that money could buy, but she had lost the things which money cannot buy.

When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect…

When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect…

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?" Within seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three).  She was disappointed.  "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought.  She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully.  If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
   
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face.  He calculated again on his fingers. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy.  This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"
    
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face.  She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries.  She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him lose focus.  This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
     
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again.  There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher.  She wanted her new approach to succeed.  With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
    
The teacher now had a victorious smile.  Her approach had succeeded. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?" Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
 
The teacher was aghast.  "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
 
In a voice that was low and hesitating, young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
 
"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect. Don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."

Note:: From the ISKBLR1 Google Groups mailing list

The Law of Garbage Truck - by David J. Pollay

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood?  Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day?  Unless you're the Terminator, you're probably set back on your heels.  However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what's important in your life. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson.  And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened.

 

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station.  We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed, and at the very last moment our car stopped just one inch from the other car's back-end.

 

I couldn't believe it.  But then I couldn't believe what happened next.  The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us.  How do I know?  Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face.  And for emphasis, he threw in a one finger salute, as if his words were not enough.

 

But then here's what really blew me away.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly.  So, I said, "Why did you just do that!?  This guy could have killed us!"  And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck™."  He said:

 

Many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it.  And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.

 

So when someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally.  Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.  Believe me.  You'll be happier.

 

So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me?  And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street?  It was then that I said, "I don't want their garbage and I'm not going to spread it anymore."

 

I began to see Garbage Trucks.  Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People."  Well now "I see Garbage Trucks."  I see the load they're carrying.  I see them coming to dump it.  And like my taxi driver, I don't take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

 

One of my favourite football players of all time is Walter Payton.  Every day on the football field, after being tackled, he would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground.  He never dwelled on a hit.  Payton was ready to make the next play his best.  Over the years the best players from around the world in every sport have played this way:  Tiger Woods, Nadia Comaneci, Muhammad Ali, Bjorn Borg, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan, and Pele are just some of those players.  And the most inspiring leaders have lived this way:  Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King.

 

See, Roy Baumeister, a psychology researcher from Florida State University, found in his extensive research that you remember bad things more often than good things in your life.  You store the bad memories more easily, and you recall them more frequently.

 

So the odds are against you when a Garbage Truck comes your way.  But when you follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™, you take back control of your life.  You make room for the good by letting go of the bad.

 

The best leaders know that they have to be ready for their next meeting.  The best sales people know that they have to be ready for their next client.  And the best parents know that they have to be ready to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses, no matter how many garbage trucks they might have faced that day.  All of us know that we have to be fully present, and at our best for the people we care about.

 

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their lives.

 

What about you?  What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

 

Here's my bet:  You'll be happier.

 

You have a choice.  Make it today.

 

Have a Garbage Free Day! ™

Your belief window

Quoted from  the Gems of Wisdom <iskblr1@gmail.com> mailing list

Your belief window

We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are. You may not be aware of this little-known but highly important part of your person that affects many of the decisions you make and how you behave in different situations. It is your Belief Window.

You cannot actually see your Belief Window because it's invisible, but we all have one. It is figuratively attached to your head and hangs in front of your face. Every time you move, that window goes with you. You look at the world through it, and what you see is filtered back to you through it.

Your Belief Window is always there with you, filtering what you see - the oceans of data and information helping you make sense of the world around you. It influences the way you perceive others, the way you read situations, and the feelings you have about yourself.

The tricky thing about the Belief Window is that you have placed perceptions on it which you believe are absolutely true, whether they reflect reality or not. For example, your experiences and social feedback may have caused you to believe that you are smart, stupid, beautiful, ugly, competent, incompetent, creative, or dull - regardless of whether they are true. And because you believe them you unquestioningly act as though they are. That's why changing our behavior is sometimes such a difficult task.

Until we realize that we view the world through our Belief Windows and that it constantly filters our experiences, we will continue to think that we see life "as it really is."

One of the most important things we can do is to make sure our Belief Window is as clear as possible and truly reflects the reality. This may be the most difficult thing to do. You will probably have to swallow your pride, and admit that you do have a Belief Window that affects much of what you do, and recognize that some of the things you've placed on it are incorrect. In doing so, you will have achieved the critical first step in freeing yourself from erroneous self-ideas that may be impeding your progress.

Mistakes are opportunities

This is a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?

 

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!

 

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"

 

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

 

His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

 

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it

Choose your battles wisely

"Choose your battles wisely" is important in living a happy and contented life. It suggests that life is filled with opportunities to choose between making a big deal out of something or simply letting it go, realizing it doesn't really matter. If you choose your battles wisely, you'll be far more effective in winning those that are truly important.

Certainly there will be times when you will want or need to argue, confront, or even fight for something you believe in. Many people, however, argue, confront, and fight over practically anything, turning their lives into a series of battles over relatively small issues. There is so much frustration in living this type of life that you lose track of what is truly relevant.

The tiniest disagreement or glitch in your plans can be made into a big deal if your goal (conscious or unconscious) is to have everything work out in your favor.

The truth is, life is rarely exactly the way we want it to be, and other people often don't act as we would like them to. Moment to moment, there are aspects of life that we like and others that we don't. There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things differently, and things that don't work out. If you fight against this principle of life, you'll spend most of your life fighting battles.

A more peaceful way to live is to decide consciously which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone.

A higher power is at work in our lives

A higher power is at work in our lives

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The worst had happened - everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.

"God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"We saw your smoke signal", they replied.

It's easy to get discouraged sometimes when things appear to be going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because a higher power is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering.

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of that higher power.